We all have those friends that we have put up with for years because we went to high school or college with them, but as we get older and and our free time becomes more valuable, it's time to reassess who you are letting into your life and spending your precious energy on. It may indeed be time to fire some people from your life. The people you surround yourself with have a definite impact on you, make sure you're surrounding yourself with friends who build you up, truly support you, and care about your well being.
1. The Gossip Queen. Most of us women are all tempted by gossip. There is something so seductive and exciting about hearing juicy or scandalous news about someone you know. The next time you find yourself engaging in gossip think to yourself, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you want your closest friends speaking badly or gossiping about you behind your back? This is where the golden rule truly comes into play. Do not give into this dirty little habit, be the woman who refuses to engage in mindless gossip and instead speak empowering and uplifting things about the women you know. If you find that you have someone in your life who is a constant gossip and that is the main topic when you get together, then it may be time to give them the axe. Chances are if they are gossiping about others with you, they are probably gossiping about you with others. I don't know about you, but women who speak well of each other are the kind of women I want to surround myself with. We face enough challenges in life, lets empower each other, not tear each other down!
2. The Party Girl. This is the girl who you know you can count on to go out with you on the weekend and have a great time with. Until she blacks out, throws up, loose her purse, starts crying, etc. You can dance together all night, confess secrets in line for the bathroom, talk to cute boys together, but she may just ditch you if she see's a better deal. She is also the kind of friend who will never answer your calls during the week, if you need some moral support or just a night in with a movie and a friend, this is not your girl. She only responds to your texts when Friday night comes along and she doesn't have better plans.
3. The Flake. I think especially in LA flaking has become a part of the culture. You schedule and cancel a lunch 3 times before it actually happens! It can be so frustrating. Of course things come up in life, people get sick, shit happens, but someone who is constantly canceling on you and waiting till an hour before you are supposed to meet up is not respecting your time, or making you a priority. Try and let this person know that it upsets you when they do this and makes you feel unimportant to them. In my younger years I used to overcommit and never say "no" to plans, which lead me to constantly flaking because I just couldn't keep up. A good rule to live by with making plans is, only say "yes" to plans you actually want to keep. Don't commit to things out of obligation if you know you aren't going to be able to follow through.
4. The Emotional Dumper. They will constantly call and text with their drama and expect you to listen and give advice, without returning the favor when you are in need. A friendship is a 2 way street. Both friends need to listen, support, and be there for one another. If someone is using you as their emotional dumpster and never being there in support of you, it may be time to bail.
5. The Negative Nancy. Negativity can suck up all the air and energy in a room. Don't let a friend who is constantly negative, complaining, and unhappy suck up all your joy. You are allowed to be happy and enjoy life, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. This doesn't mean you can't be there for friends who are going through a tough/dark times. I have known people who have gone through heartbreaking things, but they still remain positive and optimistic for their future, and do not let the negativity overtake them. Surround yourself with positive people who enjoy life.
I want to make it clear that NO ONE IS PERFECT, not at all. It's finding the imperfect people who complement our imperfectness that makes friendships and all relationships more meaningful. Just make sure your not spending your precious time and energy on the wrong people.
xoxo, Legally Blonde and Brunette